


His Mother's Son

by youngavengerfeels



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Padme is not actually in it but super important, The story is about Luke and his family so yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngavengerfeels/pseuds/youngavengerfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke has accepted that his father is Darth Vader, but he still doesn't know anything about his mother. He needs to find something to pull him out of the depression he is starting to slip into and he hopes his mother's legacy will be what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite fics are the ones about Luke's relationship with Darth Vader but I needed one that involved something about his relationship with his dead mother. 
> 
> This is a work in progress so it will be slow updates but I am really excited for this. I am hoping actually posting it and hopefully getting feedback will help motivate me to finish since Most of the chapters are at least started.

Luke felt useless. Leia, Lando and Chewie were up in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon coming up with a plan to rescue Han, while Luke was confined to his bunk. Even if Artoo stopped threatening to zap him every time he tried to leave his bed, Luke’s head was just not in the right place to offer any help. All he could do was stare at the ceiling replying Vader’s words over and over again in his head. At this point he actually welcomed Threepio’s constant chatter just to have something else to think about. He had spent years building the picture of what his father was like. He spent everyday trying to live up to those expectations. A single sentence from Vader had crushed all of that. Now he understood why Yoda and Ben had been so reluctant to tell him details about his father.

His heart clenched as he thought about it again. Luke lifted his right hand above his head. Slowly Luke moved the fingers. It was odd but he hadn’t been expecting to be able to feel anything when they replaced his hand, but he could. The Rebels always painted Vader as more robot than man, an unfeeling machine. Luke couldn’t help but wonder if he could still feel pain. He imagined Leia’s reaction if he ever asked her that question. She was a firm believer that as the chief enforcer for the Empire, Vader had relinquished all claims to his humanity. Up until recently Luke had believed the same thing, but now Vader was a confusing mixture of the idealized storied Luke had made up for his father and the most intimidating force in the galaxy. He dropped his hand, pushing the thought out of his mind.

It felt like the walls were closing in on him like in the trash compactor on the Death Star but this time he couldn’t just get Artoo to shut the thing off. He needed to talk to someone about Vader but he sure as hell couldn’t talk to anyone on Falcon about it. Leia already had enough to deal with between balancing leading the Alliance while still maintaining the search for Han. He had just met Lando so divulging his most personal secret was probably not the best idea. Chewie would have been a good option if he spoke Wookie.The feeling of isolation washed over him. He wondered if Vader ever felt the same way. If Luke could trust anything that Ben had told him about Anakin Skywalker, it had seemed like Anakin had a lot of allies and friends but when Luke had first started asking around about legends of Anakin Skywalker no one had heard the name. Luke wondered what it felt like to have one’s entire history erased.

Luke let out a groan, using the back of his left hand to cover his eyes. Why did he care so much about Vader’s feelings? The knowledge of his leginge should not have so radically changed the way he thought about the murder of billions of people. Alderan was proof that Vader was irredeemable. But Luke couldn’t help but think back to the fight on Bespin. While his emotions had been running high, Luke could have sworn he felt something different about Vader through the force. It was almost like hope with a little bit of longing. It was more human than Luke had thought Vader was capable of.

He needed to get out of this bed or he was going to go insane. Pulling his hand away from his eyes, Luke surveyed the room to see if his jailor was in the room. The coast was clear, Artoo nowhere in sight. Carefully Luke swung his legs over the bed, feet meeting the cold floor of the Falcon. He had to grip the edge of the bed to steady himself as he stood up. Maybe he wasn’t doing as well as he thought he was. Out in the hallway it was quiet other than the whirrs of the Falcon as it flew. He stuck close to the walls as he made his way toward the cockpit. He stopped outside the door leaning his back against the wall debating on if it was a good idea to go in there. He had been lucky not to run into the droids on the way, since they would have forced him back into bed but Leia would probably throw him over her shoulder and drag him back herself. Finally though he pushed the button and the doors slid open, Leia’s head wiping toward where he stood in the doorway.

“Luke, you need to get back into bed. The medical droid said your injuries were worse than they looked,” Leia said as Luke stumbled into the room. He fell into a seat nodding in greeting to Lando and Chewie.

“I want to help you find Han. It is important that we get to him before Fett gets him to Jabba. Once Han is in the palace it would be near impossible to get him out,” Luke said.

“Come on kid, we got this. Go get some rest before you give Leia a heart attack,” Lando said. Luke looked between the three people in the cockpit taking in their expression. Leia looked concern, eyes scanning Luke’s body for injuries. Lando looked amused, probably because this wasn’t the first time Luke had tried to escape his bed only to have his ass handed to him by Leia. Chewie didn’t seem to care if Luke was there or not, he just looked upset over the whole situation. It had been the hardest to look Chewie in the eye after Bespin. Luke was the reason why Chewie’s best friend was frozen in carbonite.

“It is my fault Han is in this situation, I have to help him!” Luke yelled, banging his right hand against the wall. A metallic clang rang throughout the room, making Luke’s stomach drop.

“Luke, I know you are feeling guilty but this isn’t your fault,” Leia said moving to stand behind Luke, rubbing a hand over his back.

Luke felt like he was going to vomit. If she knew Vader was his father she wouldn’t be this forgiving. Where he had once felt pride at the thought of his father, now he only felt shame. He had proudly proclaimed to anyone willing to listen that he was Luke Skywalker, son of the great Jedi Anakin Skywalker, now he was Luke Skywalker son of Darth Vader the right hand of the Emperor.

He felt the need to come clean about it, but he still wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole situation. He had accepted the fact that what Vader had said was true, but he didn’t know where his feelings were beyond that. Most of the time most of what he felt was anger, but surprisingly it was not directed at Vader. Ben had straight up lied to him. Luke had trusted Ben, and he had lied to him. Knowing the truth, Luke could see why but that didn’t help the anger that was threatening to bubble over. He felt like he was always on the brink of lashing out, it scared him. Anxiety was constant as he obsessed over Vader’s proclamation that he was destined to join the darkside. Yoda had said to control his fear, but how was he supposed to do that? The constant mixture of these emotions made Luke feel like he should hate Vader even more now, but a small part of him was excited. His father was alive. True, he was a tyrannical murderer but he was still his father. The father that Luke had spent his whole life imaging and wishing was there. It didn’t matter that he never would have the father he created in his head, he had the chance to have a father. He resented that part of him that was excited. He was supposed to be horrified, but he wasn’t.

“This is my fault. I have to make it right,” Luke said softly not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“They froze him before you had even gotten to Bespin, it wasn’t your fault kid. Don’t blame yourself,” Lando said clapping a hand on Luke’s shoulder.

Luke cringed at the casual tone that he said that. They didn’t even know the full extent of how much this was his fault. Vader only froze Han in an attempt to capture Luke, because he was his son. Already his connection to Vader was hurting his friends. It seemed like Vader was dead set on getting Luke which would put all of his friends at risk. The realization that he was almost writing his friend’s death sentences just by being around them. Vader was out there searching for him right now and he wouldn’t even hesitate to cut them down to get to Luke. He was going to be sick thinking about him.

Leia must have called Artoo and Threepio without Luke noticing, because the cockpit doors slid open revealing the droids.  

“Master Luke! You must get back to bed,” Threepio said. Glaring in betrayal at Leia Luke stood up and let Artoo herd him out of the room with Threepio scurrying to follow them. Luke slumped his way down the hall and into his room. “Are you in pain Master Luke? Should I fetch a medical droid?” Threepio asked with as much concern as a droid can manage. Luke smiled at Threepio trying to put the droid at ease.

“I’ll be fine Threepio. I am actually going to get some rest so if you too don’t mind,” Luke said head tilted toward the door suggestively.

“Of course! Call us if you need anything at all,” Threepio said as the two left the room. As soon as the doors shut Luke collapsed onto his bed. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep right now, knowing that they were still no closer to freeing Han. Also he had spent the last 48 hours sleeping so if he slept anymore he probably would actually become one with the bed.

Luke needed someone to talk to about all of this. No one in the Alliance could know about his parentage, but the secret was eating him alive. He was in no position to return to Yoda, not that he thought Yoda would actually offer any help. Most likely Yoda would just try to confuse him more than he already was. There were only two people in the entire galaxy that could actually help him. One of them was Vader, but that wasn’t going to happen. That left Ben. The person who had lied to him about his father to begin with. The idea of calling out to Ben was appealing, but Luke didn’t trust himself not to snap if he did. It would just further prove how much Luke was not a jedi.

“Ben,” Luke called trying to tap into the Force. Calling out to Ben didn’t always work, the former Jedi never seeming to be available when Luke needed him but always popping up at inconvenient times to teach him lessons. He deserved answers though. “Ben, I need to talk to you about Vader,” Luke tried calling out again. Slowly a shimmering blue figure materialized in front of Luke. He wasn’t sure how a ghost could look so tired, but Ben looked exhausted. Luke was not feeling sympathetic though.

“So Vader told you,” Ben said in calm voice. He didn’t even bother to look guilty which made Luke rage.

“Someone finally did,” Luke seethed. Ben signed, rubbing the side of his face. “Were you ever going to me?” Luke asked staring into Ben’s eyes. This was what it really came down to. Luke felt like he would be able to forgive Ben if the intention to do the right thing was there.

“I always knew would find out on your own,” Ben said.

For a moment Luke thought he was seeing red. He had trusted Ben and he had planned to never tell him this life altering piece of information. Ben knew that Luke idolized his father, he let Luke look up to Darth Vader. It hurt that Ben cared so little about him that he would lie and he didn’t even seem to care. His anger was threatening to boil over the surface. He needed to control the anger, he didn’t want to end up like his father. But he felt justified. Ben had lied to him. He had a right to know that Vader was his father. He looked over at Ben who was studying him. It felt like he was being tested. The more he looked at Ben though the more he saw what the Jedi had given up. His face looked weather beyond its years due to harsh conditions. Ben’s eyes looked at Luke but he knew Ben wasn’t seeing him, he was seeing his father. Luke thought back to all the times their moisture farm was the only one not to get raided or swindled and knew who was behind that. Ben had given up so much to protect him even though it would be seeing the child of a former friend that had turned against him everyday. As he realized this the anger and resentment started to slip away.

“You lied about my father being dead, is my mother alive too?” Luke asked. His emotions had been running wild all day and now all he could feel was tired.

“No,” Ben said in a remorseful tone. “Vader killed her. She was able to give birth before dying.”

Luke sunk down, shoulders hunched. Disappointment replaced the anger. While he knew it had been a long shot, a part of him had hoped she would have been alive too.

“Who was she?” He asked in a resigned voice. He saw the way Ben studied him, probably gaging what Luke’s reaction would be. Luke couldn’t blame Ben for being weary of telling him the truth, no matter how much he wanted to. So far he hadn’t really inspired confidence in his decision making. Han was the proof of that.

“Her name was Padme Amidala, Senator of the Republic and former Queen of Naboo,” Ben said finally. Luke straighten up at that. While he was still unfamiliar with much of the history of the old Republic, Leia sang its gospel. He remembered her mentioning a Senator Amidala on more than one occasion only in the highest regards. He would ask Threepio and Artoo if they knew anything about the former Senator.

“What was she liked?” Luke asked leaning forward. It seemed guilt had made Ben more willing to talk freely and he was going to milk that for everything he could. Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru had warned him about not following the same path of his father, but never mentioned his mother. Luke hadn’t really been surprised though, Tatooine wasn’t really a place people were proud to be from so his father probably wouldn’t have brought her there.

“She was one of the greatest political minds of her time, but she was so much more than that. Padme had more willpower than almost anyone I have ever know, but still managed to be one of the most compassionate people I have ever met. ” Ben said, a far off look on his face probably remembering things he had tried to forget.  He looked at Luke with a soft expression on his face. “You remind me of her.”

Luke’s heart swelled at that. He had been told all his life that he had too much of his father in him. Until recently Luke had been proud of that, but now the thought just made him sick to his stomach. All the times people had assured him that he would make his father proud tore at his soul. Hearing that his mother had been on the side of the light was more than he was hoping for if he was going to be honest with himself. It made him realize that maybe he had spent his life idolizing the wrong parent.The need to make up for lost time overwhelmed him. He looked over to where Ben had been to ask more questions about his mother only to see the Force ghost was gone. Typical Ben, giving him just enough information to be interested but not enough to actually know anything.

“Stupid Force ghosts,” Luke mumbled getting back into his bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke knows he is falling into depression. He needs to get out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is mainly just set up again, but I enjoyed writing it.

It took over two weeks but Leia finally let him off of bed rest, admittedly because he had threatened the structural integrity of the Falcon by practicing using the Force on the walls. Chewie had been more than a little upset at that. He had been too distracted to notice how much damage he was doing. Now that he had a name, his mother was occupying most of his thoughts. When he wasn’t thinking about Padme, he was feeling guilty about thinking about his mother instead of how to rescue Han. To be fair Leia and Chewie were doing most of the leg work. They had been connecting known associates of Boba Fett to try and figure out why the bounty hunter hadn't delivered Han to Jabba right away.  This gave Luke room to let his mind wondered. 

Luke knew that his friends were concerned about him. When they gathered he could see Leia and Chewie exchanging worried looks when they thought he wasn’t looking. Even though he didn’t really know Lando, the man was constantly checking in with him just to make sure he was getting enough to eat and rest. Even if his friends weren’t being so obvious about their concern Luke still would have felt the tension in the Force. During his months on Dagobah Luke had gotten much better at feeling people’s emotions through the Force. He could feel the anguish that Chewie felt at Han’s capture as if it was his own. Lando’s guilt added to the burden of his own. Leia tried to act strong in front of them, always putting on a brave face but Luke could feel her heart breaking the longer they went without word of Boba Fett. Luke felt like he was drowning in all of the emotions that were not his own. He didn't know how to balance reading other people through the Force and not taking on all of their emotions. It was too much for him to handle. There wasn't anywhere for him to go to escape it either. The Falcon was not a large ship so no matter where he hid the other’s presences was strong.

In order to ease the onslaught of emotions Luke had taken to spending most of his time with Threepio and Artoo. Droids were not emotionless by far but their emotions felt so different from human emotions that it was a relief. It seems like the emotions of the droids revolved around each other instead of around Han. If Luke was going to put a human emotion on what he felt when Threepio was around it would be anxiety. He wasn’t sure at first what the droid had to be anxious about but then he started to focus his attention on the emotion. It was always present when Threepio was around but he noticed that the droid seemed to relax for lack of a better word whenever Artoo was around. It made Luek realize that most of Threepio’s anxiety was centered around if Artoo was safe. Artoo was similar in the sense that Luke felt a bitterness around him, but when he was with Threepio the little droid felt more at peace through the bitterness was still there. Luke found it easier to take on the droids emotions than his other friends. 

Luke had known he was depressed for a long time. While living on Tatooine he had felt worthless. He was next to nothing in the universe, just a small time moisture farmer. It had made him feel like his life was a waste. He saw his friends escape through the Academy to do something with their lives but he remained at home. Going with Ben and rescuing Leia had been the first time Luke felt like his life was worth something. His part in the destruction of the Death Star had been the ultimate confirmation that he was supposed to be alive. That was until he looked at the cost. Biggs had died so he could succeed. His life was not worth those of his friends and family. He thought he had been going the right path by becoming a Jedi only to fail at that as well, Han paying the price. Luke felted conflicted. Part of him was worried about his place in the galaxy. His father was one of the most evil people in the galaxy. What did that mean for him? He felt no draw to the Darkside other than the want to know his father. The knowledge that his mother had remained good until her death gave him some hope for himself. But he only had a name and Ben’s word which wasn’t worth much to him right now. He needed to know more about where he came from. He grew up believing that he was just a farmer. His Aunt and Uncle were good people, but nothing extraordinary. Now he was learning that his parents may have been instrumental to the old Republic and new Empire. He needed to know if he was good or if he was just his father’s son.

Luke needed something to pull himself out of this. He could return to Yoda like he promised he would, but he felt too much shame to return to the Jedi master right now. But if he kept sulking around the Falcon he was just going to slip deeper into depression. He hoped they would locate Boba Fett soon so he could actually work through at least one of his problems. Confronting Vader was probably not the best idea right now. He tried to throw himself into making repairs around the Falcon since with Han gone Chewie couldn’t keep up with all the repairs by himself. He was working on the hyperdrive when Lando came looking for him saying Leia wanted him in the cockpit. When Luke arrived Leia had  thoughtful look on her face. 

“I just got a transmission from Mon Mothma. There has been a spike on Imperial actively in Naator. She wants us to do a recon mission to see what is going on,” Leia said. Luke’s head shot up at that. Naator wasn’t that far away from Naboo considering everything. It wouldn’t be hard to do some recon and then make a quick detour to Naboo. 

“We have a lead about Boba Fett in the Inner Rim,” Luke pointed out.Leia frowned. He knew that she was torn at this. She was dedicated to the Alliance so she wanted to follow the mission but at the same time she wanted to keep looking for Han. His heart pounded. This could be his chance to visit the homeworld of his mother. “I could go.” Luke offered. “If I go then you are still free to keep looking for Han.” Luke explained. Leia looked like she was deep in thought. Luke could feel her confliction. He could understand her concern. The idea appealed to her because it would get both jobs done, but at the same time he knew that Leia didn't trust him right now. It was nothing against him but he knew that he had been scaring his friends lately. He hadn’t done a good job concealing his depression and growing anxiety. It was so drastically different from his normal happy go lucky farm boy that everyone had come to associate him with. Leia was worried about him and while Luke appreciated that it wasn't helpful though. He needed to do something to pull himself out of this and her coddling him wouldn’t help him. 

“Luke you are still recovering from Bespin,” Leia started. Luke’s heart sink. She was about to tell him he should stay with her on the Falcon. The feeling of desperation flooded Luke. If anyone in the Falcon was Force sensitive, Luke was sure that he would have overwhelmed them. His desperation must have been written on his face because Leia when back to frowning at him. “Why do you want to go alone?”

“Because I want to help,” Luke lied. “We haven’t had a lead for such a long time since Fett never showed up on Tatooine. If we have a chance to help Han we have to take it, but this mission is important too. I want to help,” Luke explained hoping he sounded genuine. It wasn't a complete lie which made Luke feel better about it. He did care about keeping the Empire in check but his main focus was on his mother at the moment. If he could figure out his place in the galaxy he could move on and be focused on the mission. He just needed to fix this. Leia was studying him, Luke just stared her down. He needed her to known that he was ready to get out there and do something again. He wasn’t the kind of person who could just sit back and be passive. 

“If he thinks he is up to it just let him,” Lando said. Luke bit his lip and watched Leia think it over. There really wasn’t any reason for her to say no. 

“Fine,” was all she said before leaving the room. Lando and Chewie moved ot enter new coordinates into the navicomputer. 

They flew to the nearest Alliance friendly planet to get a ship for Luke to use. Luke could tell Leia was still hesitant on letting him go by himself. He tried to hurry everything along so he could escape before she said no. He didn’t technically need her permission but it was important to him to have her approval. It made him feel less guilty about abandoning his friends. He was beginning to see a tread. Uncle Owen had said he was abandoning the family by wanting to go to the Academy. He had abandoned his Jedi training. And now he was abandoning his friends. Luke shook his head to clear the intrusive thoughts. That wasn’t what he was doing. He needed to figure out who he was if he was going to be any use to anyone. He wasn’t abandoning anyone, he was just taking a pause to take care of himself. 

Once they had acquired a ship for Luke to use Lando and Chewie had wanted to take off to continue looking for Han. Leia had insisted on seeing Luke off. That normally would have made Luke happy, but now he was just anxious that Leia was going to find him out. 

“There is something else going on. I don’t know how but I can feel something off with you. What happened in Cloud City?” Leia asked concern in her voice. Luke should have known he wouldn’t be able to keep this from Leia, but he wasn't ready to tell. He couldn’t go to her with just the news of his true parentage. He needed something else to tell her. Right now his sense of identity was too shattered, he wasn’t ready to tell Leia. 

“The encounter with Vader just has me shook up,” Luke said settling on telling her a half truth. Leia narrowed her eyes, hands on her hips.

“You have fought Vader before and walked away. What was different?” Leia asked suspiciously. Luke cursed silently. 

“It is just that I abandoned my training with Yoda to help you guys and I couldn’t even do that. If I can’t even protect my friends then how can I become a Jedi?” Luke explained fiddling with the zipper of his flight suit. Leia gave him a sympathetic look and placed her hand on his shoulder. 

“You made your choice Luke. You did what you thought was right,” Leia said. Luke nodded but didn’t make eye contact. He had made his choice and now he needed to make it right again. He felt bad lying to her, even if he wasn’t actually lying. He was just omitting the truth. He would tell her eventually. He would tell Han too once they got him back. Everything was going to be fine, Luke kept telling himself. He said goodbye to Leia embracing her tightly before climbing into the X-Wing. He looked down at Leia from the pilot seat and couldn’t help feeling a sense of dread, like something bad was going to happen. He wasn’t going to be gone long, nothing was going to happen to him or his friends. That was he told himself as he took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please talk to me here or on my tumblr allhaildarthluke  
> like for really talk to me about anything. If you want a prompt you want written hit me up

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to send feedback here or on my tumblr: allhaildarthluke  
> People talking to me is the best way to motivate writing so if you like this or just want more please let me know!


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